I don't like this; after talks and talks; my head still thinks the same; my heart still feels the same, and i'm still the same - i don't know what to do, i don't know what to say, - i'm just trying to calm down, but it's difficult, and this is freaking me out. I mean, i'm trying to swallow the idea of that known proverb "where there's a will, there's a way", but, do I believe in that? what do I believe in? WHO I believe in? Can I trust someone? Or everybody's the same? I'm getting sick of this, and I repeat it: this is too difficult, and i'm tired of this pain i have inside. No, i'm not dramatizing, I'm just writing my feelings about THIS moment. Am I doing right? Am I doing wrong? no-one knows, - not even me. And THAT makes me crazy. Because I can't carry on like this. I'm always afraid of everything, I don't want to loose anything.. I can't stand this, and what is even worse; I CAN'T STAND MY HEAD, working all the time. STOP!
I'm just a step from P A R A N O I A .
Is this all my fault?